• mom chat // are you jealous of your partner?

    11.20.2012 / personal

    ken-and-bee

    Bee has a super strong bond with my husband, which is so incredible to watch. Except sometimes, I feel a tiny bit jealous inside. (Bee’s first smile was directed at Ken, which¬†simultaneously¬†melted my heart and sent a ping of sadness to my head!) Suddenly, I find my mind reeling with all of the things she’ll prefer to do with my husband, rather than me.

    Ken’s just… funner. He’s a big fan of impromptu dates and new adventures – and he always, always tells the best jokes. On the other hand, I’m a stickler for schedules, routines and rules. Naturally, I sometimes worry that she’ll enjoy his company more than mine (it’s inevitable, right?). So tell me, friends – have you been there? Are you envious of your partner because of the bond they share with your child? And how do you handle it?

    I’d love to hear your stories (and this is a fascinating article about Mom vs. Dad jealousy!).

    Photo Credit // Woodnote Photography

    • Jayme

      Hi Erin,

      I am not a momma yet. I’m actually a week away from being a bride! But I wanted to share a little something. I am an only child and the epitome of a Daddy’s girl. My mom to this day is still jealous of mine and my dad’s relationship, but as I’ve grown older I’ve personally seen the tables turn. I find myself running to my mom with personal problems and all the hard stuff. She was there for boys, and clothes, and friend troubles. She also was good at secrets and I felt so safe with her for those things. Although we didn’t have movie dates and she wasn’t always able to make it to my games or recitals, she still helped me prep for everything and was there to tuck me in and help me get ready in the morning. She was always the one who cuddled me when I was sick. She was so compassionate and set the example of the woman I want to be. Dad is so much fun and spontaneous and always had the treats. But planning my wedding my mom has been my right hand man (lady). I hope this helps a little. The deep relationship a daughter has with her mother is equal to that fun that you see them having, just in a different way. You’ll find your groove. She adores you, i’m sure. She sure shows it in her pictures!

      J

      • OMG Jayme – what an insightful perspective! Thank you for sharing that, and you’re right – there will be times when my organizational skills will come in handy (wedding planning! yes!). :) Thank you so much, Jayme, and congrats in advance! I wish you a beautiful ceremony!!!

    • we actually have the opposite situation at my house. we have a one month old baby girl, and she prefers me. she still adores my husband, but i’m the one who calms her down in an instant and the one who can get her to smile any time. a week or two ago, my husband admitted that, while he LOVES watching the two of us together, he gets a little jealous that she seems to prefer me and that i have the special touch with her. it seems super normal with first-time parents. everything is such a big change and adjustment, and you just have no idea what to expect going into the whole thing. i’m sure i’ll have my jealous moments down the road when she becomes a tried and true daddy’s girl. i gotta enjoy this time as the favorite now before it’s gone!!

      • @Jasmine – That’s such an interesting perspective, Jasmine! Thank you for sharing! And yes, you’re so right – enjoying the moment seems to be key for a lot of things these days. ;) Hugs to you – congrats on your 1 month old!

    • p.s. being the favorite has actually been a huge surprise to me. i totally thought that cecily would prefer my husband right out of the womb. i have to admit it makes me feel REALLY good, so i know i’d be jealous if the roles were reversed.

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