• F

    Dear Bee // 42

    11.14.2013 / FAMILY

    bee

    Dear Bee,

    You wake up before the sun now and your father nudges me in bed a few times before I realize what’s going on. For a moment, I struggle to remember that you exist, because in my mind, I’ll forever be an eleven year old sleeping on floral sheets surrounded by a few stuffed animals of my own. As I pad into your room, you reach for me, asking for Bump (your bumblebee) or Cack (your stuffed cactus) and I remember my own Paddington and Beauregard and suddenly, the wave of emotion comes over me. When did the days string a garland long enough to create the years that have passed?

    You like to visit the laundry room when you first wake up, because sometimes Bump and Cack go back to sleep in the washing machine. I flip on the light and squint my eyes even though the switch is on a dimmer. The sun isn’t yet up, and that tiny sliver of light feels so bright and intense and big, and I know that later this afternoon, I’ll flip on that same light and it will be shadowed by the sun so much that I’ll forget our home was ever dark enough for that dim light to make any bit of difference.

    But it does. Because when things are dark, the tiniest light makes all the difference. And things are hard until they’re not anymore, until the sun rises a few hours later and the room and our lives and our hearts are filled with warmth and we forget that the darkness was ever dark enough to swallow the light.

    Bee, things change so quickly. Light and dark and sunrise and sunset and summers and winters. There are seasons of good and seasons of hard and they both have the ability to swallow us whole. But you must always cling to the good. You must always set your mind on the sweet strawberries and the fresh grass and the bright, bright sun. Imprint the good into your mind so much that the dark cannot swallow your light.

    Keep Bump and Cack and your blankets close, and keep your family closer. Because sometimes, the sun doesn’t come out for days and you might need a lamp to light your way.

    And one day, you’ll be in the middle of a dream, snuggled into floral sheets of your own, and you’ll wake to a baby’s cry for her mother. And you might pause, looking for Bump and Cack until you realize that season has passed and you’ve slept a million years in one night. So you’ll rise, Bee, and you’ll greet the season with a light you didn’t know you had.

    Until then, you can borrow our nightlight. Oddly enough, it smells kind of like strawberries.

    XO,
    Mama

    • Library Lady

      Dear Erin, You are always make our lives brighter…through the seasons of good and through the difficult times. I don’t know where you have gotten such wisdom at your youthful age, but I love how you are appreciating those little moments we all have and passing that along to little Bee! Paddington and your floral sheets await you any time! Love, L.L./P.I.

    • Dear Erin, I have only just got introduced to your fb today and I saw this post . I think its the sweetest thing I have read in a very long time. Ive got four kids and I still write little letters to them and reading your letter has made me smile as it sounds warm and familiar.
      Its imprinting consciously the good, the brighter side of life that will always carry us through all lifes challenging and sweet memories never fade.

      I am a new brand called Doodle Do and launching at bread and butter in January , the website is under construction at the moment, but this letter is more from one mom to another and I will write to you again when we are ready. Warm regards, Celsa

      • Ah, you are so kind, Celsa – thank you for your sweet words! Look forward to hearing more about doodle do. :)

    • oops mean bubble :)

    • Erin, if you figure out how to make this growing up process slow down a little (just a little so I can savor some of these beautiful bits a little more before they pass), would you let me know?

    • This is so beautiful, Erin.

    • I just had a fussy morning and things don’t go the way they should and I’m stressed and feel like crying (that’s also hormal though). Now I read your letter and I’m calm again and smiling (and also crying a little).

      This is one beautiful letter.

      • Ahhh, you are so sweet, Liesbeth. And oh man, do I know those mornings well!

    • kesha

      I remember Paddington! He was such a cute teddy. Do you still have him?

    • Marika

      I am holding my snoozing 14 month old in my arms whilst reading this and have just shed a little tear. This is so lovely, and so true. We are very lucky to have them, even when it’s a little darker out than we would like.

    • I love each one of the letters you write for your daughter. The first time I found your blog, I remember going back to read every Dear Bee post.
      This one, has some special light that shines throught all cables and PCs and all that. From your world to mine. Please, keep writing. I’d like to keep that light and your wisdom with me and my family.
      Muchas, muchas gracias.

    © 2007-2014 Erin Loechner. All Rights Reserved.
    Website Design by Veda House / Development by Brandi Bernoskie